Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?