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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it

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• (949): View more from California

  Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?

  (619): View more from California

  hahahahahahahahahahaha

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.

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• (845): View more from New York

  maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (650): View more from California

  I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!

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