He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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