so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
