The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
