i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have tasted many bathrooms
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
