make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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