I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
