Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
