how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
