No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
