Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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