all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
