I've blown a few things in my day
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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