my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Randomize