what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
