you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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