Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
