So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
