My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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