we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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