ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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