I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
