wrigley field is MILF paradise
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
