I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
