You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
