Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Drunk is a universal language darling
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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