He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
