Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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