woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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