He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize