i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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