Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
FUCK WHALES
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
