I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
