I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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