My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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