Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
