My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
