i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's just like the Real World with babies
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
