1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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