So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
did you just send me my own nude
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
