So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
