if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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