$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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