Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
