Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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