She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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