dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
