if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
