Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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