It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize