I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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