Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He felt like a one man threesome
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
