So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
