You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize