Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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