note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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