U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
