you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
