I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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