god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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