We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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