So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
im about as happy as oj after his trial
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
