Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
