At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize