last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I can feel your judgement through the phone
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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